15 Funny Parenting Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Whether it’s the sleepless nights, the tantrums, the back-talk, the teenage angst, or any of the other countless challenges that confront every parent, sometimes the only remedy is to laugh about it. Here are 15 funny parenting quotes from celebrities and experts who’ve been there and understand the trials of raising kids. Take a break to laugh out loud. And share your favorite quote in the comments section!

“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”
—Marshall McLuhan

“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”
—Leo Burke

“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.”
—Maurice Johnston

“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”
—Jerry Seinfeld

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
—Phyllis Diller

“Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.”
—Ed Asner

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.”
—Franklin P. Adams

“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”
—David Frost

“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
—Erma Bombeck

“You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.”
—P. J. O’Rourke

“Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.”
—Doug Larson

“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.”
—Bette Davis

“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”
—P.J. O’Rourke

“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.”
—Michelle Pfeiffer

“Every night before I get my one hour of sleep, I have the same thought: ‘Well, that’s a wrap on another day of acting like I know what I’m doing.’ I wish I were exaggerating, but I’m not. Most of the time, I feel entirely unqualified to be a parent. I call these times being awake.”
—Jim Gaffigan